[email protected]

Why did the 'Fetömetre' disappear?

Don't leave your news choices to an algorithm - decide for yourself what you read. Add 12punto to your preferred sources!

One of the major politicians of the ruling party gave the following statement:

"By God, brothers, we are looking for the 'Fetömetre' so much. But we just can't find it. We are also curious. Where could this 'Fetömetre' be? I swear I'm going to go crazy!"

Five or ten friends were analyzing this statement at a neighborhood coffeehouse:

They were sitting in the garden of the coffeehouse drinking tea. The group of friends was chatting. One of them said,

-Keleş, my friend, don't get angry; the 'Fetömetre' will turn up somewhere. I think someone is hiding it.

Then he paused for a moment, thought, and said, "Hey, wasn't it this FETÖ that carried out an armed coup? Wasn't it this FETÖ that caused the deaths of so many people? Weren't these FETÖ members the ones who set traps for army commanders and brave officers, slandered them, and let them rot in prisons? Aren't they the ones who had so many innocent people tried, arrested, and left to rot in jails? Aren't they the ones who had so many of our true and revolutionary intellectuals arrested?"

His friend replied:

-They are! But look, the 'Fetömetre' is missing. Isn't that so? It seems that when the 'Fetömetre' disappears, things in the state come to a halt.

-Yes, it's missing, missing. Unfortunately, it's missing.

-Well, why can't the Fetömetre be found?

-Because they don't want to find the Fetömetre. They don't want to talk about FETÖ members. Someone is clearing the way for FETÖ members, haven't you understood that yet?

-Yeees... Oh, I see... Look, except for the Aydınlık newspaper, the entire press remains silent without shame or regret. There is not a peep from the political parties.

Oh, Turkish public, and politics, and the press, and so on, shame on all of you! FETÖ is reorganizing in all universities! If you would kindly take a look at the documents published by Ulusal Kanal... Dear press, dear politicians, dear columnists, dear television pundits, if you would just bother to take a look...

It's astonishing! How you all stand in unity... When the subject is FETÖ, you all suddenly go quiet. Whatever happened to the press's duty to inform the public?

Mr. Keleş took the floor. This Mr. Keleş is a retiree from the courthouse. He retired as a chief clerk. Now he works as a petition writer in front of the courthouse. He is brave and patriotic. He is a bit of a saint, a bit of a madman, a bit of a Bektashi, and a bit like Nasreddin Hodja. This Mr. Keleş took the floor and said the following:

“Hey press! Hey courthouse!

Oh, politics!

Oh, intellectuals!

FETÖ is

reorganizing

in universities.”

Oh, my most esteemed leader!

You used to say this and that,

and so and so.

And

You were roaring like lions.

The Fetometer is missing, the Fetometer!