Mother Deniz Akkaya is right!

In a tweet that appeared on my feed days ago, Deniz Akkaya was crying out about a violent argument that had taken place between her and her daughter. The incident she described was, in summary, this: suspecting some of her 15-year-old daughter's actions, she wanted to check her phone, but her adolescent daughter reacted excessively; when the mother insisted, the situation escalated, anger grew on both sides, the fight intensified, and the child locked her mother on the balcony. The apartment building was up in arms, the neighbors' pleas were to no avail, the police arrived, the child did not even open the door for the police to avoid giving the password, and afterwards, she told the police, “my mother abused me.”

When I first read it, like most people, I was angry at Ms. Deniz. I thought she made a mistake by angrily sharing a private moment between her and her daughter on X. The comments were terrible. People were writing things like how the mother had thrown her little daughter to the wolves by sharing her on social media. I started following the situation.

The next day, a statement came. The mother was defending herself: I am a well-known person, what happened between my daughter and me got out of hand, the neighbors heard it, I know how ruthless the tabloid media is, and I wanted you to hear it from me before them.

And another statement followed: “I placed my daughter under state protection so she would come to her senses.”

Oh my God, the ruthless comments increased. Since everyone in this country is a keyboard warrior, those who grabbed their swords started stabbing at Ms. Deniz.

The mother stood tall. They started hitting below the belt. She began to be judged based on her past, her relationships, her work, her marriage, and her motherhood.

I want to pause here and offer my own commentary.

Deniz Akkaya is a woman and a mother, just like all of us. She is one of the best models of her time. The kind of life she leads does not concern me in the slightest; she is a free individual, and her right to live by her own choices and make mistakes is absolute. These should not be mixed into the issue between mother and daughter. If we focus only on the issue, why is Ms. Deniz crying out so much?

First of all, she is not one of those mothers who says, “my child is right no matter what she does.” She is in a very rational stance, trying to protect her child, and trying to explain that she has reached this point through a series of difficulties and deprivations that we were not aware of until that moment.

As we learned from her statements later on, she is a woman who experienced major problems within her own mother, father, aunt, and uncle axis and struggled to save herself from that environment. It happens; not everyone is born into perfect families.

The second important point is the attitude of the child's father, which we are also learning about. He fathered the child and left. He has taken no responsibility; he has no financial or moral contribution. He has even considered paying child support for his child a burden. It is clear that because he cannot resolve his problems with the mother and cannot put his grudges aside, he continues to punish the mother through the child. What do they think, I wonder? Do they think we will take the three cents they give and spend it in bars and pavilions instead of on the child's needs? We are mothers, we are mothers; mothers cut from their own share and spend it on their children. Those who spend their child's sustenance in bars and pavilions are usually not the mothers.

The woman is a victim, friends! The situation is actually that simple.

She didn't reveal these things to keep her head held high. Also, she is famous, which means she is a big piece of bait. If she isn't careful, she is live bait in front of sharks. The woman is smart, and she is aware of this too. I respected that. For all this time, the woman has kept silent about half of what she wanted to say so that her child wouldn't be affected. And she, like everyone else, is a human being made of flesh and bone.

Have you ever thought about what it means for a woman to raise her child alone? I mean, really think about it... close your eyes; from the moment she was born, from the dreams you built, from the postpartum days you spent breastfeeding, to the moment you realized you were suddenly left alone, the eating, the drinking, the first steps, the nursery, school activities, art and composition assignments depicting family, psychology management, fears, shortcomings, needs, uniforms that need to be bought, meetings, school installments that need to be paid, weekend courses, activities, house rent, school bus, where she goes when she gets a little older, what time she comes home, who she sees, the dangers... think about it, and you think of the ones that don't even come to my mind. While a mother deals with these alone, all alone!!! What are we, octopuses? How can one person handle all of this by themselves?

She also has a life, a job, a social life, friends, a need for vacation, responsibilities, and meetings. If the day is 24 hours for you, for these mothers, the day is 4 hours! Being alone is not just about not having a partner, as everyone understands it. Being alone means thinking about these things by yourself, handling them by yourself, and managing to continue your own life as well.

Have we been able to guess even a little bit how exhausting it is?

The woman is tired, friends. She is tired of being both mother and father.

Now let's look at the situation from another angle.

Children in these situations are very open to manipulation. Fathers, mothers, stepmothers, stepfathers, and all the relatives, friends, and so on—in short, everyone loves to take advantage of these weaknesses. The child gets angry at the father and leans toward the mother, gets angry at the mother and leans toward the father. As they grow up, they learn opportunism. They learn to use the lack of communication between the mother and father. In short, these relationships become very vulnerable to danger. This is exactly the situation between Deniz Akkaya and her daughter.

The mother is already tired, sensitive, and on edge, and she had suspected something. The incident reached a dimension she never wanted. The father stepped in, threats began, he applied to the court; I will take custody! You can take it, of course, no problem, but do you really know this child? You might not even know her shoe size, her friends, or her favorite food; after all, you weren't there financially or morally while she was growing up, how will you cope? I know a father who writes “to be reclaimed as a result of the appellate court” in the description section of the child support he pays. There are fathers in this world who take the court decision to the appellate court for the pittance that wouldn't even fill a tooth, and who do not make the money they give halal for their child. Those who haven't lived it don't know!

Because the mother knows this, she is aggressive like a lioness. Isn't that normal?

And with her statements, the mother is actually starting to break social taboos one by one...

MOTHER IS SACRED!

No, she says, mothers are not sacred or anything; do not try to silence us, suppress us, or prevent us from speaking by hiding behind this rhetoric; we mothers are human beings just like everyone else.

A mother does not badmouth her child, dirty laundry should be washed at home!

No, she says, there is a great danger here and it must be discussed! Children are children, of course they make mistakes, mine has mistakes like everyone else's child, but my duty is to protect and look after her, I have become unable to cope on my own, and her father is abetting these mistakes, help!

Hide your child's mistakes!

If I hide every mistake, how can I prevent it? That means giving her courage.

Didn't we end up in these states because of narcissistic parents who claim to raise the perfect child anyway?

Because of parents who know more than the teacher, criticize the food at school with the air of an inspector, and dynamite discipline under the guise of being the most perfect parent? Whereas schools exist to provide them with the discipline that parents struggle to provide at home, in addition to education.

As the incident grows, information starts to come out on its own. Pandora's box is opening;

Parents of adolescents are starting to tell about the difficulties they experience. Do you want those who are beaten by their children, those who are threatened, those who cannot talk about their children with those around them—they are starting to pour out one by one. The biggest danger is that children think they have the right to everything. The ones who do this are actually us! We give so much, everything... we pile everything in front of them without even giving them a chance to ask for anything.

What we hear, what we hear... abortions under 18, substance abuse, gang formation, and bullying... can you imagine the anxiety level of a mother as she sees and hears these things around her?

Meanwhile, a second mobile phone emerges from Ms. Deniz's house. It is also password-protected, hidden from the mother, it is a mystery by whom and how it was obtained, and most importantly, why is it hidden from the mother?

What else should the woman do but lose her mind?

This issue is not just Ms. Deniz's issue; it is actually a societal issue. Our children, our women, our society, our families.

The Epstein documentary, the young people Adnan Oktar tore away from their families for years, kidnapped children, the dangers experienced on TikTok, prohibited substances sold in front of schools, screenshots taken, blackmail—these are the realities of this world. Any means is justified to protect our children from these.

They are young, maybe they cannot think comprehensively, maybe they do not care much, but the mistakes they make today can also create lifelong consequences. Our duty is to protect them. We have experienced life longer than them, we have gained experience. We can analyze what they cannot think of forty times in our heads.

Let these dangers be discussed; these reactions that seem strange to you and that you judge so much are the reactions of a mother who is afraid for her child, sad, and looking for a solution. If it happened to us, maybe we would do the same, maybe not the same, but something similar. For that reason, while we stick the needle into others, let's also touch it to ourselves so we know how much it hurts.

Dear Deniz Akkaya, I am on your side. You are very right, and I appreciate you on this matter. I hope you find peace as soon as possible and pull your child out of that darkness you believe she is in. This is what it means to be a mother. Do not listen to those who talk empty. If we poked around a little, it would emerge what kind of mothers and fathers they are. There are so many who do not put their hands under the stone, who haven't fed their children a bowl of soup, who haven't put a vinegar cloth on their forehead when they were sick, but when it comes to talking, they are all talk and no action... They know nothing other than dressing up and going to graduations. Only those who live through the difficulties know them. I wish you ease on your path.