God Make Me MAYOR - Final

As you read this article, you are likely having already cast your vote for mayor and neighborhood representative (muhtar), and are excitedly waiting for the Supreme Election Council's broadcast ban to be lifted.

Therefore, there is no need to dedicate this Sunday to an article that requires deep thought.

Let's write a simple election piece.

Polling companies have published nonsensical results due to the kickbacks they received.

Most of their erroneous, rigged, and adjusted results will be presented on screens in a comparative manner, but few will feel any shame.

Since both the one paying and the one receiving are happy, there is no problem.

Pollsters seem to find their way from one election to the next, it seems.

Let's not dwell on it too much.

Our people already know who will win the elections by following their instincts, not by looking at polls.

The adjusted figures published by no polling company will change the direction of our people's votes.

The election results will not change much compared to 2019.

No one should expect a dramatic gain or loss.

The big ones will remain in their places. 

In Istanbul, some districts that were on the edge in the last election will be painted red.

The provinces of Asia Minor will be painted bright yellow again.

The districts of Asia Minor will also be bright yellow.

The situation in the Black Sea is already well-known.

Except for Beşikdüzü and Pazar, it will be bright yellow.

We understood Beşikdüzü, the district of the Village Institute, but we couldn't understand why the Pazar district is itching for a change.

There will be no expected change in the East either. 

It will be the same old story.

Oh, and I don't know if the airline ticket discount for retirees who cannot afford to board a plane will change the election results!!

Ultimately,

Poverty will deepen.

Retirees will live about ten years less than expected, and hospitals will be relieved of the retiree occupation.

Although pharmaceutical companies may be saddened, the Social Security Institution will be saved from paying for some drugs whose effectiveness is debatable.

Municipalities will be forced to open more city restaurants.

For retirees whose lifespans are shortened by at least ten years, more “municipal tea houses” will be opened.

Parents will try to allocate more resources to their children and their education by cutting their expenses even further. 

We will see more mobile soup vans on the outskirts and in the centers of cities. 

God willing, our retirees will be sent off to the afterlife earlier, paving the way for the transfer of inheritance.

Young people will settle more cheaply into the homes vacated by retirees who have migrated to the afterlife.

Thus, our economic crisis, which emerged as a result of our reckless spending, will be alleviated.

Perhaps it will even end completely.