A critical warning from a police officer: "Wrong questions directed at a child can lead to irreparable consequences"

I have left 30 years behind in my profession. I have always worked as a police reporter as my specialty. For this reason, I have the opportunity to talk to many officers in the police department.

The day before yesterday, I was chatting with a colleague who has been serving as a child police officer for many years. Our topic was children driven to crime. And, of course, the recent increase in sexual abuse and incest cases involving young children.

What he told me was extremely striking, and after asking for his permission, I asked if I could put it into writing. Immediately after, I asked a question: "Why are sexual assault, abuse, and domestic sexual abuse cases against children showing such an increase?"

The experienced officer, with years of service, acknowledged that there is definitely an increase but stated that he also wanted to touch upon a very important issue.

Honestly, I could observe that what he was about to share made him a bit uneasy.

He began his words as follows:

"I don't want to be misunderstood. Yes, sexual abuse cases have shown a major increase recently. Besides this, there are some developments occurring that could lead to very dangerous consequences. I have encountered similar situations a few times. Wrong questions directed at children can sometimes cause very dangerous results to emerge. A wrongly phrased question can tear a family apart, destroy a home, and even result in suicide. In the district where I am stationed, a guidance counselor working at a primary school was asking children various questions. For example, 'Is this your private area, has anyone ever touched it? Has anyone ever sat you on their lap or kissed you on the lips?' etc. Between the ages of 7-11, the possibility arises that children may feel under pressure because their teacher is asking a question, and sometimes they may not be able to express themselves and give wrong answers.

When suspicious answers—or rather, answers that lead to the conclusion that a criminal element has occurred—are received, or when that conclusion is reached, a report is filed. They take the child and bring them to the police station. The prosecutor is informed about the suspicion of sexual abuse of a young child, and instructions are given to take the child's statement and the statements of the accused family members in the presence of a pedagogue.

Following this, for example, we detain the person who is accused or perceived as a suspect—this can sometimes be a father, sometimes an uncle, or an older brother. Afterward, the child's statement is taken in the presence of a pedagogue, and a situation completely opposite to the report filed at the school emerges.

This situation creates traumatic effects, especially on family members. Someone from the family is brought to the police station on charges of sexual abuse against their own child or relative. Even if their innocence is proven, they cannot be happy about the situation. One father said he almost committed suicide. I definitely do not want what I am saying to be misunderstood. Guidance counselors are undoubtedly trying to do their jobs as well as possible and protect children. What needs to be paid attention to here is that questions must be asked very correctly and expert support must be obtained. A wrong question can tear a family apart, lead to suicide or murder."

After what the experienced police officer shared, I asked him one more question: "So, what should families do to protect their children?"

He answered as follows:

"Mothers and fathers should keep their children under constant supervision. What are they doing on their mobile phones, what kind of cartoons are they watching, who are they meeting or messaging with? All of these must definitely be checked. Children can recount an event they learned or heard about as if they had experienced it themselves, and they might even say, 'He sexually abused me.' For example, the sister of a specialist sergeant serving abroad told her school guidance counselor that she had been sexually harassed by her brother. A report was filed. School officials took the girl and came to us. We immediately called the mother. The mother went into shock. 'This cannot be, because my son is in the military,' she said. Then, when the statement was taken again in the presence of a pedagogue, the girl confessed that she had lied because her brother would not give her permission to go out. Of course, these suspicious situations never cover up the fact that sexual abuse and assaults have increased significantly. Domestic sexual abuse cases existed in the past as well, but people preferred not to go to judicial authorities so that the matter would not be heard by others. They tried to cover up what happened within the family. However, now there are guidance counselors and classroom teachers in schools. Children are observed meticulously, and if there is a problem in suspicious situations, an attempt is made to bring it to light. Nothing stays hidden anymore."