Should young people be given this much credit?

Partisan President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan gave good news to students following yesterday evening's cabinet meeting:

"The amount of the scholarship that the Credit and Dormitories Institution will provide to undergraduate students in 2024 has been increased to 2,000 liras per month."

Good heavens; what are you doing, Mr. President?

How could you make such a huge mistake?

Should such large sums of money be put into the hands of young people at this age?

God forbid, what if they fall into bad habits...

What if they start drinking or gambling... 

Or at the very least, what if they buy a car, motorcycle, or bicycle and get into an accident?

I understand your good intentions and your generosity; I respect them, but...

These people are still practically children, Mr. President...

Even if they don't start drinking or gambling, they will use this money to read plenty of books, go to the cinema, and attend concerts... They will wander from one festival to another...

And what if they decide to get on a train or a plane and go to Europe...

What if they see the young people in those countries...

How will we rein these children in, won't we?

What will we do if they stop listening to religious teachings and traditions?

You know better than we do how harmful these things are...

If you didn't know, would you ever have concerts and festivals held at universities banned?

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Divide 2,000 liras a month by 30 days; that comes to 66 liras and 66 kurus per day!

Since they won't be able to spend all of this money, what if they enter the stock market...

If they buy foreign currency and cause our Lira to lose value...

If they wear branded clothes and get caught up in fashion trends...

Don't do it, Mr. President; do not harm our children...

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Alright, a promise is a promise, but are you trying to make these young people obese?

Isn't one meal a day enough for them?

God forbid, if they get used to three meals a day and then can't find that same level of prosperity in their later lives, have you considered what might happen to us?

How unhappy, how miserable they will be...

A meatball sandwich in half a loaf of bread is 90 liras!

Let them eat a quarter; right? Isn't that enough for them!

And if they buy a bottle of water for five liras, that makes 50 liras...

They'll still have more than 16 liras left in their pockets... That's the problem! My outrage is about this 16 liras! 

Are you trying to lead our children astray with this money, Mr. President...

If they don't have the money, they can't buy cigarettes.

Is it like that now?

What if the three children pool the money they have left after eating their meatballs and drinking their daily bottle of water to buy cigarettes...

Wouldn't your daughter, the honorary president of the Green Crescent, be devastated?

***

I implore you; please reconsider this increase you have made to our children's loans...

Do not raise them at all, or if possible, make them even lower than last year's...

Let them walk to their schools; it would be good exercise...

As long as they don't start using "powdered sugar" like some of the young people in your party because they have too much money...

***

Am I joking?

Oh, please... Would I ever do such a thing?

I only want what is best for our children...

Just treat them the way you treated our siblings Bilal Bey, Burak Bey, and Sümeyye Hanım during their student years...

We all know how they studied while living in poverty...

Please do not discriminate against our children, and do not spoil them!