Are We Able to Protect Our Children?

In these days when our hearts are darkened by the murder of Narin Güran—a case so distressing that we struggle to write a single line or speak a single word about it—along with countless reports of disappearances, abuse, and murders coming from all corners of the country, we all share similar thoughts, anxieties, and questions in our minds.

We ask ourselves questions like: “Are we able to protect our children?” “How can we protect our children?” or “Are our children safe?” We are very right to ask these questions and to feel anxious. However, before these questions, there are important issues that we, as parents, educators, and caregivers, must know and be very careful about. First and foremost, we must become conscious parents and raise conscious parents for the generations to come. Our state, our society, and all social institutions must set everything else aside and focus on this. A serious mobilization must be declared on this matter. Because the situation is truly dire. As an academic and a parent, there are such terrible situations I have seen, heard, read about, or personally witnessed regarding children!

Many parents are unaware of the value of their children; they are strangers to their children's worlds, not even knowing what they like or dislike, what they fear, or what makes them happy. Forced marriages due to economic, social, or religious reasons, unwanted children, and irresponsible parents are unfortunately still a major social wound. Children growing up in the unhappy environment of these forced marriages are worthless, loveless, timid, and vulnerable…

Whether we admit it or not, in our country, when counting the family population, girls are still not counted as children. How safe do you think girls are, whose existence is not even acknowledged in numbers, who are ignored? The situation is not much different for boys. Boys are also subjected to all kinds of physical or psychological violence, they are bullied, and unfortunately, they inflict the violence they suffer on others in the future! Regardless of gender, many children are still in the clutches of physical, psychological, or sexual abuse. Moreover, one might be ashamed to say or write it, but in the vast majority of these abuse cases, the perpetrator is very close to the children!

So, how can we expect a child who cannot even trust those closest to them to be healthy, happy, and safe? How can we protect children from evil? First of all, as parents, we must be very careful and get to know our children well. We must love our children unconditionally, be able to meet their material and spiritual needs to the best of our ability, and always make our children feel that they are very valuable under all circumstances.

Valuing our children does not mean feeding them the best food, buying them the most expensive toys, dressing them in branded clothes, or sending them to the most luxurious schools. Valuing our children means listening to them, being able to answer their questions, playing games together, being there for them, and always making time for them. At the simplest level, when we have a phone in our hand, our eyes on the screen, our ears elsewhere, and our minds in other places, do you think we are really with our child? Is this how we value our children? If we are going to raise children this way, if we are not going to prioritize our child first, what can we expect from others? Especially when the human being is full of dark sides and so unreliable, when evil has become normalized, and goodness has become, so to speak, foolishness; from whom shall we expect value and how shall we raise children?

Having children is both beautiful and a situation that requires great responsibility. If we cannot take this responsibility, if we cannot protect our children, perhaps we should not bring children into the world… While thousands of people struggle to have children, it is equally devastating to see thousands of people who have children but do not know their value, do not take an interest in them, inflict violence upon them, or abuse them. Children born out of wedlock; unwanted within the family, left to social services, despised, ignored, forced to work, used for begging, kidnapped, kicked out of the house, run away from home, bought, or sold… Their numbers are so high and their lives are so difficult!

To be by their side in these difficult life struggles, not to spare our support, and to be a healthy society where children's fundamental rights and freedoms are protected, please let us listen to all our children, starting from those closest to us, from today onwards. Let us listen to our children, make them feel that we are with them under all circumstances, teach them what to do when they feel the slightest danger, and be more sensitive than ever to the children we see around us; let us report suspicious situations to the authorities. Sometimes a small amount of sensitivity or awareness prevents great tragedies. Please, let us not forget this!