It hit the spot, it became the view!

“Life always gives us the teacher we need most at that moment.

This includes every fly,

Every misfortune,

Every red light,

Every traffic jam,

Every annoying manager (or colleague),

Every illness,

Every loss,

Every moment of joy or depression,

Every addiction,

Every piece of trash,

Every breath.

The guru is the very moment you are in.”   

When I read this quote by Charlotte Joko Beck, it struck me right in the heart. You know how some things happen at just the right moment… 

It hit the spot, it became the view… 

We are usually full of blame for the things that happen to us in life. When good things happen, we either call it luck or believe we are being rewarded because we did very good things. 

In other words, if we experienced something bad, it was our punishment. 

For a long time, I believed this very much. 

Especially after becoming a mother… 

The fact that my first child was born with many health problems and, with subsequent developments, would spend his life with difficulties and obstacles was, of course, my fault! That is how I thought and felt. 

For years, there was no need for others to hurt me. Because I was the one stabbing that dagger into my own heart at every opportunity. 

Who knows whose heart I had broken that the Creator had punished me. 

What a ruthless, even arrogant thought this is. 

A very condescending perspective. 

At the same time, this way of thinking is actually a form of consolation… 

Another type of mourning… 

If your child is not going to be within the norms we know, you can no longer return to normal either. Think of this like a prison. 

You are guilty, you are punished, and the rights of free people no longer exist for you!

Many mothers of disabled children I know are in this emotional state. While raising a child is already difficult even when they are healthy, being in a constant state of conscience-searching, fighting the unknown, and finding yourself on a different front every day makes it even harder. 

Even a sincere laugh makes you feel guilty. Because that mother has no possibility of ending her mourning. 

Just as the state of being a 'mother' is sanctified—a topic that I think deserves a long article—when you become a mother of a 'disabled' child, you suddenly find yourself in an area where you have to be even more perfect… 

You have little right to rebel or get tired. What can you do? God has given this test. And this is because He loves you. Because God tests the servants He loves. 

Here is another condescending perspective. 

Yes, things we never desired have happened to us. We are tested with health, children, work, love, and sometimes with our mothers and fathers. 

Life is such a strange cycle, sometimes a drama, sometimes a comedy, and sometimes a tragicomedy. 

Is it hard? 

Oh, what are you saying? 

It is as hard as you would say, 'No way, this shouldn't be happening.' 

When we change our perspective even a little bit, we can discover that what we experience is not a punishment, but sometimes because we need to learn something new, we can find a lamp to illuminate our inner selves in both the bad and the good, and we can learn that in this ocean called life, we can breathe at the bottom just as much as we can stay on the surface. 

It was just when I started to learn this that I encountered the words at the beginning of the article. 

For the last week, we have been experiencing some upsetting situations regarding my son. I am tired… I want to just stay there without thinking or worrying about anything. Maybe even become a little foolish. 

I know this situation is also temporary. It will work out somehow. What needs to happen will happen. And whatever happens, life will somehow prepare us for it. 

We will take a deep breath and continue. 

Because, 

“Life always gives us the teacher we need most at that moment.

This includes every fly,

Every misfortune,

Every red light,

Every traffic jam,

Every annoying manager (or colleague),

Every illness,

Every loss,

Every moment of joy or depression,

Every addiction,

Every piece of trash,

Every breath.

The guru is the very moment you are in.”