What if no one says, ‘Oh! What a sweet woman she is!’…

It took me years to grasp the importance of the ability to express oneself emotionally. 

Blaming the person in front of me, attacking others, and suppressing my emotions were the destructive options I preferred. 

I could blame the person next to me without looking at myself, without weighing myself. 

It was easier to ignore my own choices and blame my mother. 

My past, my friends, my fate... 

Talking trash about the life I lived was the easiest thing to do. 

I wasn't doing this consciously; I thought it was what came from within, I thought that was how I felt. 

This was one of the mistakes I understood through trial and error…

By nature, I have never been a woman who shouts and screams, but it was still easier to attack others by pointing to life. 

This was another form of blame, a path that made things easier for me, for my conscience. 

Staying silent without being able to explain what I felt, without being able to form the right sentences, was one of my best escapes. 

Why would I waste time explaining myself? I would just stay silent, turn my back, and walk away; that would be it. 

But did it end? 

Of course not! 

That snowball would grow, grow, and often turn into an avalanche… 

And guess who was left under that avalanche? 

While the emotions I couldn't express were exploding inside me, everyone else was continuing their lives in some way. 

Even those I lived in the same house with… 

When I realized that these behavioral patterns caused no one to lose out but me, I also learned to express my emotions in the right way. 

Well, this doesn't happen all at once. It doesn't get solved with a magic wand. 

This is also a habit, even sometimes an addiction… 

No matter how much it hurts you, it's what you know, what you trust… 

Getting out of that circle! Oh my, oh my! 

What if I do it wrong?

What if I am misunderstood?

What if those who loved me until now don't love me anymore? 

What if no one says, ‘Oh! What a sweet woman she is!’… 

When you fully understand these thoughts, the light at the end of the tunnel actually starts to dazzle you. 

But the road is long… 

When you remain loyal to your own thoughts and feelings—but not blindly, and without being blind to other ideas—one also starts to become calmer, more respectful, and more inclusive… 

Because you respect yourself, you learn to respect others, even if you don't agree with them. When your addiction ends, if someone leaves your life, it doesn't hurt you that much. 

You accept their departure with serenity… 

You also become more flexible toward change. 

Change, being flexible, showing respect, expressing your emotions, listening, accepting with serenity… 

When we look at the state of Turkey and the world, and at politics recently, did it seem too utopian for a moment? 

As I was writing, my keyboard suddenly seemed to smell of romanticism… 

Let it be like this today…