The Missing Princess

We have a brand new global crisis, as fresh as a daisy!

The princess, who hasn't been seen for about three months, has suddenly become the number one agenda item for the global public. 

Naturally, the most talked-about topic for us is Kate Middleton…

The World Meteorological Organization released a report. The report stated that new records have been broken in greenhouse gas levels, surface temperatures, ocean heat, sea-level rise, and glacier retreat. 

The end of the world is coming! Oh, who cares…

In a program titled “Let’s Ask Diyanet” broadcast live on Diyanet TV, another fatwa was issued. Mehmet Kapukaya, an expert from the High Board of Religious Affairs of the Presidency of Religious Affairs (Diyanet), was asked whether listening to music is religiously objectionable.

Kapukaya said, “In an environment where all young people, girls and boys, mingle and engage in abnormal movements, regardless of the singer or the lyrics... Even if you were to recite a hymn in such an environment, it is not permissible. This means the setting in which music is performed and the lyrics are important.” 

Don't say, “But who cares, do we even have the energy left to listen to music?”

It turns out these concert cancellations and such were so that we wouldn't commit sins…

In a derby match, fans attacked the players again, and this time the players used disproportionate force. A battlefield, a struggle for survival…

Oh, that’s something that always happens, forget about it… I’m telling you, the princess is missing…

The question of where Princess of Wales Kate Middleton, who no one cared about for three months, is has become such a hot topic that it has appeared in every newspaper published around the world. 

It has been the most talked-about subject on social media for days…

Nothing else matters.

What is being said is nonsense, but it has reached a point where it has become political fodder between countries!

For example, Russia said, “Instead of trying to find our agents, find your missing princess”…

So, where is the missing princess really? 

The only thing known is that she underwent abdominal surgery about three months ago and retreated to rest. 

For days, claims that the princess had died have been circulating. Then, it was rumored that she left the palace because she was cheated on by the heir to the throne, Prince William.

All the girls who grew up dreaming of becoming a princess were very upset by this situation. They felt sad, saying, “If even a princess can be cheated on in this world, what won't they do to us?”

According to some, the secret service, and according to others, global powers have eliminated the princess. 

I guess the world is watching too many movies!

The princess will emerge regardless of the reason, and this curiosity will end, but from now on, no one will believe anything!

Yesterday, The Sun, one of the most widely read newspapers in England, published a video on its website. It said, “Here is the princess, fit as a fiddle.”

In the video, the prince and princess were seen shopping for garden supplies. But the video was shot from such a distance that Kate Middleton’s face could not be clearly distinguished.

And so, everything started all over again…

Claims were made that the person next to the prince was a body double. 

Boom, unemployment, the hunger threshold, fighting, and foreign exchange rates were forgotten again. Whether the princess is real or a body double has become Turkey’s number one agenda.

I understand the British; they don't have a cost-of-living crisis, their currency is the most valuable in the world, their retirees aren't tested with hunger and are traveling the world on cruise ships. They have fallen for the princess fairy tale and are having fun. 

How did we forget our grocery bags and fall for this fairy tale?

But we love fairy tales. Haven't we chased after many fairy tales? For instance, didn't we believe in the promise of two keys for everyone? Didn't we believe that oil would gush from our soil in 2023, that we would become a superpower by extracting minerals they wouldn't let us touch once the Treaty of Lausanne expired, that we would build TOKİ houses on the moon, and many others?  

The nation doesn't believe in its missing princess; they are questioning it. 

If Kate Middleton were to come out tomorrow and say, “My dear brother, I was sick, look, I am standing right in front of you, perfectly healthy,” still no one would believe her. 

There are many people in England who would say, “Get out of here, you’re a robot too…” 

As for us, we are in a state where we would believe a mayoral candidate without question if they said, “We will rebuild all of Istanbul against earthquakes.”