Turkey emerges as the world leader in promiscuity, but the 'weapon of crime' is small!

Are you tired of Turkey's agenda?

The election race, the certificates of election that were or were not issued... The fights at the handover ceremonies of municipalities...

The dire state of the economy...

The record-breaking foreign exchange and gold rates, the high cost of living... With all the tension surrounding the Fenerbahçe - Galatasaray Super Cup, we've all been feeling quite stifled, haven't we?

Let me give you some news that will put a smile on your face. According to the results of a study on 'sexual intercourse and promiscuity' published on the platform World Population Review, Turkey has emerged as the most promiscuous country in the world!

The study concluded that a Turkish person has 14 partners throughout their lifetime. However, the study is far from scientific. Why, you ask?

The platform stated, "We arrived at these results by examining data we obtained from third-party sources." In other words, the probability of lying about the numbers is very high!

Because when you look at the other countries on the list, it is not hard to conclude that, as in every subject, we are just boasting when it comes to sexuality!

For example, Brazil ranked 25th with an average of 9 partners. The difference between the country where the Rio Carnival takes place and the country that is supposedly lusting after the cow in the barn is 5 partners!

France is also in 29th place with an average of 8.1 partners...

So, we are more marginal than France in terms of sexual freedom, is that it? At the bottom of the ranking were China with an average of 3.1 partners and India with 3 partners.

Now, this part is very important...

Because another study compared China and Turkey. Let's take a look at that study as well.

The Daily Mail, one of the most widely read newspapers in England, published data it compiled from international research and survey results the other day.

The newspaper ranked the average penis size of men living in each country. According to the study, it was recorded that the average penis length of Turkish men, who are number one in promiscuity, is 12.99 centimeters. According to this data, Turkish men ranked 70th in the world.

But Chinese men, who are last in promiscuity, are one step above Turkey in 69th place...

It seems like one of them is lying. Either Turkish men are exaggerating the number of partners they have been with, or Chinese men are lying about their size!

BUT OUR MONEY IS MORE VALUABLE!

If you are wondering who is in first place on this list, Cambodian men have not let anyone take the lead with 17.6 centimeters!

Cambodia is one of the poor countries in Central Asia. Its source of livelihood is rice. The part that concerns us is not that they are at the top of the list. For us, the importance of Cambodia is that it is one of the rare countries where the Turkish Lira is valuable. 1 TL is worth exactly 125,577 Cambodian Riels.

According to the 'Address Based Population Registration System' results of the Turkish Statistical Institute as of December 31, 2023, the male population in Turkey was announced as 42 million 734 thousand 71 people. The female population was announced as 42 million 638 thousand 306 people.

According to the first study, if our men are telling the truth and changing 14 partners throughout their lives, either our income level is so high that they travel the whole world and raise the average! Or they are counting their dreams too...

Because if we look at the statistics provided by the state, an equation emerges in my conservative country where the gardener is with the butler, the butler with the cook, and the cook with everyone.

If the people of my country, which ranks among the first in the world in honor killings, take this research seriously, woe to us...

DO YOU FORGIVE YOUR RIGHTS?

So, who is raising the average on this promiscuity list?

Famous showman Mehmet Ali Erbil had stated years ago, "At least 500 women have entered my life." After Cem Yılmaz became famous, 16 of his lovers were reflected in the press. I did a quick Google search; the average of 10-15 lovers of famous men in Turkey has been reflected in the press.

What about the others?

Hey brother, are you all Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ, Cem Yılmaz, or Kenan İmirzalıoğlu?

Don't the Anatolian lads who are married off as soon as they return from military service lower this average? The figures of TUIK are clear... Where do you find the opposite sex to have sexual relations with?

A Temel joke came to my mind.

Temel was sitting in the coffeehouse with his friends Dursun and İdris. Dursun left the newspaper in his hand on the table and showed the news in the paper to his friends, saying, "Friends, look at this news, the female population in the world is three times that of men." He added, "According to the news, there are three women for every man."

Temel got up from the chair he was sitting on and said, "Whoever took my share, may it be forbidden and poisonous to them. I do not forgive it," and left the coffeehouse angrily.

By the way, the main point of the article is that 1 Turkish Lira is worth exactly 125,577 Cambodian Riels...