Why do women stay silent in the face of violence? "We are ashamed, they don't believe us! Violence doesn't stop!"

In Turkey, this rate is over 75 percent. In other words, one in every four people "sees violence as legitimate." Moreover, women who are subjected to violence do not tell anyone about what they have experienced and try to fight the violence alone. 

The number of applications to the Nilüfer Women's Solidarity Center, which has been providing intensive services to support women since 2004, has been increasing in recent years; this situation reveals that women are able to speak up more comfortably over time through awareness-raising, information, and psycho-social support efforts. Sociologist Merve Yalçınkaya, who works at the Women's Solidarity Center, evaluated the work they do at the center and explained why women who are subjected to violence remain silent. 

Stating that the first emotion women experience is shame and that they are afraid to talk about it for fear of experiencing a similar incident again, Yalçınkaya said the following:

“Women are often faced with intense feelings of shame and guilt after the violence they are subjected to. When we experience something bad, we first question ‘what is this a punishment for?’ Considering that women and the female body are at the center of most social norms and traditions, it is inevitable that we blame ourselves first when we are subjected to violence. Looking at it from this context again; who would want to expose their own ‘fault!’ For this reason, women cannot share the violence they experience with anyone due to the resulting guilt and shame.”

Yalçınkaya stated that women do not apply to any support mechanisms as a result of violence for many reasons, such as the anxiety of not being believed, unsafe living spaces, and the fear of being subjected to violence again or even being killed after speaking out. Yalçınkaya continued as follows:

“Another reason is the perception that ‘dirty laundry should be washed at home.’ When they apply to us, women are not subjected to just one type of violence. We can actually say that the most common is psychological violence. Sexual violence, on the other hand, is the type of violence that women have the most difficulty talking about… The most frequent requests from women are for safe living spaces and, of course, the resolution of their economic concerns…”

Psycho-social support interviews are conducted for women who call the Nilüfer Women's Solidarity Center by phone or apply in person. A Policy Guide Against Violence Against Women was also created to guide women who are subjected to violence, which has enabled many women to become more aware. 

Stating that “We do not let violence through our door,” Nilüfer Mayor Turgay Erdem said, “Of course, we are not standing idly by in the face of this growing violence, and we will not. Those who remain silent against violence are just as guilty as those who perpetrate it. We have to make our voices heard every day until justice is truly applied in this country. We stand against all forms of violence against women and support women's struggles. Our goals to build a place free from violence and discrimination are included in every detail in our Policy Guide Against Violence Against Women, which we prepared under the umbrella of the municipality. We protect women against violence. We have established a system that will be an example to all of Turkey and the world, and it is our desire for this to grow and spread.”

ALL WRONG!

According to the Policy Guide Against Violence Against Women prepared by the Nilüfer Municipality, some of the misconceptions about violence are as follows:

- Uneducated/unemployed/poor men perpetrate violence.

- It is mothers who raise men. The reason for their perpetration of violence is this upbringing style.

- Men who perpetrate violence have significant psychological problems.

- Alcohol is the most important cause of violence.

- Violence against women within the family is only the problem of that family and does not concern anyone else

- Women oppress women the most.

- If a woman has been subjected to violence, she deserved it.