I am performing a prayer of gratitude

Rector appointments have been problematic since time immemorial. Even in my model of electing rectors, many problems would arise, yet that was actually the best way.

We could say it has the lowest error rate.

Whatever the model,

Ankara wants to appoint someone close to them as rector in the provinces so they can easily get their friends and family into the university.

The rector should stand at attention.

They should not deviate from instructions.

When they see the 312 area code on their mobile phone, they should be startled, break into a light sweat, and say, 'I hope this is for the best.'

On the other hand, they should open an assistant position with a personalized job posting for their sister-in-law's useless, wayward son.

They don't really look into the tender business at universities anyway.

It's all about the unearned positions.

The rest is just a story.

And academics like us head to Ankara with project files that all point in the same direction.

Before that, of course, the provincial party organizations are visited so that at least the vocational school positions aren't snatched up by Ankara.

Ironed suits, wrestler-like necks fresh from the barber's chair.

Rehearsals with friends and carefully chosen words.

Depending on the era, either words heavy with Arabic or Francophone influence.

Dreams of 'if you appoint me rector, I will do this, I will do that.'

Fantasies that are not really in the rector's hands, like 'I will get the university into the top 500,' 'I will support regional development,' or 'I will increase the quality of education.'

With laptops in their hands, they try to explain their micro-analyses to Ankara with flashy charts.

They don't know that Ankara doesn't care about these algorithms.

They are looking for a serf who will listen to them, but they don't say it openly.

To be polite, they try to look like they are listening.

A full-fledged professor has come all this way.

They have to listen, even if it's not a subject they understand.

It's all about the number of publications, the h-index, the number of citations, or how many R&D projects there are.

Anyway, we could drag the story out, but let's get to the point.

A friend of mine from America who went through these processes to become rector at Istanbul University was very upset when he wasn't appointed.

He would talk about how he was the best candidate and point out the shortcomings of the candidate who was appointed in his place.

No matter what we said, he wouldn't be convinced.

Even when we quoted Al-Baqarah 216, saying there might be evil in every good and good in every evil, it didn't cool the fire of my ambitious rector-candidate friend.

Although I can't say he has come to his senses yet, I called him the other evening.

When I asked what he was doing, he said, 'I am performing a prayer of gratitude, because I wasn't appointed rector.'

'Otherwise, this diploma issue would have been left to me,' he said.

'Damn it, we appointed you rector, you couldn't manage to cancel a diploma, and I would have probably been dismissed after getting scolded,' he added.

Mind you, the one who replaced him can't cancel that diploma either. In fact, no diploma obtained as a result of a lateral transfer can be canceled.

There are dozens of signatures from faculty boards, university senates, and administrative boards under the lateral transfer documents.

If you count them, there could be more than a thousand signatures and initials on lateral transfer paperwork.

It is scrutinized very carefully.

Not even the smallest detail is overlooked.

We're not just talking about core courses; even the most trivial elective course issue is examined in minute detail.

The rector's opponents, who were as fierce and deep-rooted as can be at that time, would have turned the senate upside down.

Even brute force would have been used, but a consensus was reached on the lateral transfers during İmamoğlu's term.

No glitches occurred.

As you can see, the horse has already reached Üsküdar.

On the other hand, the first university, which was named Darülfünûn-ı Şahane by the decree of Abdul Hamid on August 31, 1900, will be considered null and void.