Reha Muhtar’s son becomes media fodder: Psychologist Serap Duygulu explains the lasting marks on a child’s life to 12punto

Famous television anchor Reha Muhtar was hospitalized after losing consciousness following an accident at his home; his ex-wife, Deniz Uğur, who could not reach their 15-year-old son Poyraz, alleged that Ayşe Nazlı Yumlu, the daughter of artist Nilüfer, had abducted him. Mother Deniz Uğur stated, "People who have no connection to the family are hiding my child from me. Are they a gang?" Following the allegations, artist Nilüfer denied the claims, stating, "The child has already stated many times that he does not want to go to his mother. Poyraz's custody is with his father." After these events, 15-year-old Poyraz made a statement on social media. 12punto asked Psychologist Serap Duygulu about the situation and the potential psychological effects on Poyraz.

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Reha Muhtar’s son becomes media fodder: Psychologist Serap Duygulu explains the lasting marks on a child’s life to 12punto

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Good news has arrived regarding Reha Muhtar, who was intubated following an accident at his home on August 20. It is alleged that Muhtar has begun speaking with those around him.

Reha Muhtar had an accident at his home in Istanbul's Sarıyer district days ago and was taken to the hospital unconscious. He was intubated in the hospital's intensive care unit due to trauma to his brain caused by the fall.

It is alleged that the journalist, who was first awakened following a decision by doctors, has now begun to speak with those around him.

It was learned that the bleeding in Muhtar’s brain was stopped as a result of the doctors' extensive efforts.

Following the events that took place while Reha Muhtar was in the hospital, the first words of the former journalist, who is struggling with illness, have become a subject of curiosity.

Reha Muhtar's ex-wife, actress Deniz Uğur, had claimed that she could not reach her child and alleged that singer Nilüfer and her daughter had abducted Poyraz Muhtar.

Reha Muhtar's son Poyraz made a statement following the abduction allegations made by his mother and said: "My mother says I was kidnapped, but I was not kidnapped; I asked my sister to take me to my father's house."

While the debate over whether Nilüfer or Deniz Uğur is right continues on social media and in the press, something very critical has been overlooked. No one has thought about how Reha Muhtar’s son, Poyraz Uğur, feels, or about the fact that a 15-year-old child was forced to make a press statement after what happened.

Who is harmed in issues where children are at the center of the debate?

Is there no way to conduct these discussions in a healthy manner?

‘CUSTODY OF THE CHILD SHOULD REMAIN WITH THE LEGAL GUARDIAN’

Psychologist Serap Duygulu explained the effects of 15-year-old Poyraz being on the agenda due to problems in his family to 12punto.

Psychologist Serap Duygulu said, “I am following the process. We have gotten stuck on the tabloid aspect of the matter, but there are psychological and legal dimensions to this. Leaving aside the fact that the parties are known to the public, it needs to be evaluated entirely from a psychological perspective. The absolute guardianship of a child belongs to the mother and father. In a situation where everything is under normal conditions, unless the court has appointed another guardian, the guardianship of the child absolutely belongs to the mother and father; it belongs to whoever was granted custody. This issue is not open to debate. Under normal conditions, unless the law directs otherwise, just as an individual under the age of 18 is accepted as a child in universal law and the international declaration of children's rights, their guardianship is with the same certainty with the mother and father,” she said.

‘YOU CANNOT FEED THIS SITUATION TO SOCIAL MEDIA’

Regarding people expressing their opinions and taking sides on social media, Serap Duygulu said: “

“None of us would allow a child under the age of 18 to move into a separate house. This is the case both logically and legally. You cannot legitimize or normalize a situation where a child under 18 moves out by offering excuses such as ‘he wanted to go to his sister’ or ‘he didn’t want to see his mother,’ or ‘he was on good terms with this person and bad terms with that person.’ You cannot feed such a situation to social media. I am also speaking from the mother's perspective here; you cannot reach a solution with statements like ‘My child was kidnapped, he was seized.’ You apply to the law, you apply to experts.”

‘THESE NEWS STORIES WILL ALWAYS COME UP AGAINST HIM’

Regarding the statements Poyraz made on social media, Psychologist Serap Duygulu said, “It is also wrong for a 15-year-old child to be forced to make a statement on social media. It is also wrong for his sister to make statements like ‘I didn’t kidnap him, I am his sister.’ It is wrong to reflect these types of relationships on social media. We have made everything presentable, buyable, and sellable. We will consume this too, and it will pass. However, the scars of this will remain as a problem that this child or other members of the family will have to carry from now on because we have digital footprints. Every step we take finds its place in this limitless digital universe, and these children will have to see these news stories about themselves in their later years. Even if the parties want to establish a healthy relationship from now on, they may experience some difficulties due to these negative news stories that have been pinned to social media in this way,” she stated.

‘IT CONCERNS NO ONE’

Speaking on Poyraz saying he is with his sister, Serap Duygulu commented on the resulting guardianship crisis:

“Let’s follow the process of the event step by step. Here we have a father who fell ill at home and a child who witnessed it. In the meantime, the child’s custody is with his mother or father. Now, a 15-year-old child cannot be removed from his guardian by saying he didn’t want to see him or didn’t want to look after him. Until the age when he makes his own decisions, that is, until the age of 18 when he is considered an adult by the state, his guardian makes his decisions in a legal sense; it is at their discretion. His mother should have been notified. We cannot know about situations like why his mother was not notified. That is where the problem starts anyway. Now everyone is saying something different. What the law will say and what the experts will say is important. Everyone’s area of responsibility should also be clear. It is clear that roles have been mixed up here. No one has any business here except those who have a blood and emotional bond with the child. Even if there is a blood bond, it still concerns no one except the people determined by the law, and no one should have a say. There is no validity to the claim of entitlement by citing a blood bond.”

‘HE WILL BE FORCED TO EXPLAIN HIS PRIVACY’

When we asked Serap Duygulu about the psychological problems Poyraz might experience in his later years following his social media statement, she explained:

“From now on, this child will be the subject of these questions in almost every area of his life. He will be forced to explain his private life and family relationships to others. All of the child’s privacy and ownership of his private space have been opened to the public. His digital footprints will constantly come up against him. Did the problems within the family have to be revealed in this way? Where will experts in the field, educators, and psychologists be of use? Then let everyone set their own legal rules on social media and solve their family problems there. We have a concept of family; we protect our private space even from our relatives. Now, all of this child’s privacy has been exposed. These are the ages where disciplines and responsibilities are rejected and one’s own personality is formed. Of course, there can be separations and disagreements. Everyone should review their legal and psychological situation. No one has such a right. We do not know the background of the event currently taking place. It cannot be determined by the decision of a 15-year-old child; opinions are sought from experts regarding this. Experts make a decision after making the necessary observations. It is not up to anyone other than experts to decide this. Whoever the child’s guardian is, he must stay with them.”

News Source: 12punto