Misogyny 3 - Benevolent misogyny: Is the only problem of men women?

The murders of women and girls in Turkey are not mere ordinary incidents consisting of isolated chains of violence. What is happening are the dire consequences of the long-term psychological, sociological, and economic crisis the country is in.

It was known by everyone that the demolition of the pillars of civilization one by one would not bring any community to the level of contemporary civilizations. The state into which communities that are distanced from modern education and rational thinking ability are dragged is the same, no matter where you look in the world. However, the fact that this is known does not make the picture of disaster we are currently facing any more understandable or acceptable for any of us.

MORALITY AND MORALISM

In a system where moralism is placed at the center instead of morality, it is no surprise that violent incidents, fits of madness, moral collapses, suicide cases, illegal structures, drug trafficking, human trafficking, severe economic shocks, and ultimately, the formation of a social structure whose fundamental values are shaken and changed occur.

It is not possible to collect bricks one by one from a completely destroyed building and build a new building in the same place. For the reconstruction of society, there is a need for contemporary architectural ideas, rational projects, and a new social engineering centered on scientific thought. Competent pens, competent scientists, intellectuals, thinkers, philosophers, and economists need to sit down with a clear head, take deep breaths, and think, write, and redesign society all together.

LOOKING FOR THE ENEMY OUTSIDE

In this vein, the fact that misogyny is increasing with such intensity is one of the most important issues that needs to be addressed carefully. Although political perception tends to look for the enemy outside and find a scapegoat, confining the perpetrator to narrow molds such as mentally ill, satanist, or incel distances us from the main issue.

There is a group that is radicalized from external sources called incels, yes, but incels should be handled as a concept rather than a cause in our country. Because in our country, this issue is not so ordinary and superficial that it can be polished in the headlines for three days and forgotten on the fifth day. Especially in our lands, the fact that misogynistic narratives, which have roots dating back thousands of years and have been sanctified with religious, cultural, and traditional masks, have been transformed into trendy concepts is the real culprit of today's disgraceful state.

Therefore, it is necessary to oppose the alienation and distancing of the issue with a conscious will and even certainty. Misogynistic perpetrators are created by the sociological dynamics of our country. The girls and young women who are sacrificed are not from another country, but are the very children of this country.

PERCEIVING MISOGYNY AS A SOCIAL PHENOMENON

The frightening murders on record correspond to terrible figures between 400 and 500 annually. When suspicious suicide cases, disappearances, and unregistered incidents are added to these, the figures reaching into the thousands turn the issue from just a violent incident into a social survival problem.

If we are to act in a solution-oriented manner, we are obliged to analyze the social dynamics that create the perpetrator of violence. However, while we need to analyze misogyny as a social phenomenon, we stumble right at the beginning by confining the perpetrator, who is an element of this phenomenon, to "narrowed subject molds."

What do we mean by narrowed subject molds? For example, individuals who are not of sound mind, incels, or drug addicts.

So, should individuals in these groups be left aside? Of course not. However, with a very small logic formulation that many of us will remember from high school, we can immediately verify the necessity of not leaving only the people in these groups as the target. "A murderer may be mentally ill, but not every mentally ill person is a murderer." If we formulate it, letting K(x) be 'x is a murderer' and A(x) be 'x is mentally ill', K(x)›A(x)?¬(?x(A(x)›K(x))

After leaving aside this detail, which is placed as an obstacle to the solution path, we should be able to say that the issue that needs to be examined right at the beginning is the phenomenon itself, which we call misogyny, rather than the subjects that are elements of the phenomenon.

If the goal is to examine the social norms of a society that constantly produces murderers within itself and to produce a solution to this situation, it is necessary to allow the real causes of the crime to be placed in the defendant's chair in the conscience of society. So that a mirror can be created in the hands of the community that will allow it to look at the fractures in its own internal dynamics.

In a place where the criminal is declared the "other" and punished in absentia, consciences are relieved, and it does not occur to anyone to ask the question, what is my share in us having turned into such a country?

THE FAULTY PERCEPTION SPIRAL

Perhaps our primary starting point should be to ask this question: Why do we name our problems differently instead of solving them, and distance them from ourselves?

When the name of a murder in which a woman's right to life is taken away is changed to an "honor killing," all elements of the crime are turned upside down in the eyes of the community. Suddenly, the murderer is declared the victim, and the deceased is declared the criminal.

In cases of rape, instead of the severe perversion of the rapist and the unforgivable nature of the crime committed, the woman's clothing is discussed. Could a woman, just because she wore that dress that day, have turned a man who was a good person until that moment into a sick, perverted criminal capable of rape? What kind of perception blockage is this?

Society, instead of looking for a way to save the victimized woman, persistently strives to find a thousand and one ways to forgive the perpetrator man.

If traditions, customs, and dogmatic patterns that are no longer even mentioned in civilized countries still cause women to be killed in our country, shouldn't we stop and think? If this faulty perception spiral, which has been placed in the mind of society, causes half of the community, which is women, to be killed, enslaved, and their possibilities of being free individuals to be usurped, the issue is serious.

So, how will we analyze the causes of this behavioral disorder that keeps society's conscience far, far away from rational thought and the ability to analyze? Even if we are going through very difficult times, it is necessary to sit down with common sense and calmly go over the issues, concepts, and definitions one by one.

BENEVOLENT MISOGYNY AND HOSTILE MISOGYNY

In the Misogyny 2 article, we said that the methods of using this instrument by the patriarchal system, which uses misogyny as an instrument, are not just violence.

BENEVOLENT MISOGYNY

Misogyny may not always appear to us as open aggression or violence. These types of misogyny, which can hide themselves very well, manifest themselves with ideas that seem positive or neutral, keeping women in traditional, secondary roles and restricting their free will. To give examples:

1.Intensification of the Motherhood Role: By idealizing motherhood as the highest or most important role for women, the constant emphasis on this role creates severe pressure on women, leading to women who are not mothers or do not want to be mothers being seen as less valuable or unnatural people. In the background of this perspective, which sees motherhood as the woman's primary and only duty, is the reduction of the woman to only her reproductive functions. The woman's personality, goals, and dreams about her life that fall outside of this function are ignored.

2.Benevolent Sexism: An overly protective, so-called attitude is displayed towards women, claiming that there is no need for the woman to do anything, get tired, or even learn anything by meeting all her needs, and keeping the woman on a pedestal is described as an effort to supposedly exalt the woman. In the background of this type of misogyny lies the pacification of women. While the woman thinks she is highly valued, she actually finds herself in a dependent situation and has eventually lost the ability to act on her own.

3.Gender Role Expectations: Social norms suggest to women from childhood that they should be understanding, kind, compassionate, and emotional. The characteristics attributed to men are strength, logic, and determination. These sexist clichés manipulate the woman's role in social life in a very insidious way. By dictating to women what kind of character they should have, it is ensured that women refrain themselves from professions or social roles that are not considered "feminine."

4.Praise for Sacrifice: Women who give up their personal dreams, education, or professional careers for their family or partner are praised on the social norm scale as virtuous, self-sacrificing, and brave. If the woman decides otherwise, the social norm scale positions the woman in the exact opposite direction. A woman who does not give up her career is openly accused of pursuing her own ambitions, selfishness, and not being feminine enough. The expectation in the background of this misogynistic attitude is the imposition that the woman should naturally accept the idea that she is always a second-class human being.

5.Appearance-Based Objectification: It is the evaluation of women through their physical appearance, pushing the woman's professional skills into the background as if they were a secondary feature. The misogyny in the background of this behavior is the conscious pushing of women's professional skills into the background compared to men by categorizing women due to their appearance.

Since benevolent misogyny is served to society as natural problems, it is not always very easy to detect this misogyny and create the necessary resistance in return. Therefore, benevolent misogyny is at least as dangerous as hostile misogyny. And it appears as a part of each of our lives more commonly than hostile misogyny.

HOSTILE MISOGYNY

1.Rape Culture: Rape culture refers to a social structure where sexual violence is normalized, frequently belittled, and excused. In such societies, rape and sexual assaults are tolerated or ignored. Therefore, it creates an environment where attackers are protected.

2.Victim Blaming: It is another common form of aggressive misogyny. Victim blaming reinforces social power imbalances and prevents the questioning of the perpetrator's actions. It is a mechanism where the victim is held responsible not only for sexual violence but for all types of violent incidents. This approach aims to convince society that victims of violence did something wrong, behaved inappropriately, or were open to danger. This behavior makes women more vulnerable, distancing potential perpetrators of violence from responsibility to the point of almost encouraging the crime. This form of accusation applies not only to sexual assaults but also to domestic violence, harassment, or other crimes.

3.Domestic Violence and Control: Domestic violence is one of the most aggressive and common forms of misogyny. In patriarchal structures, domestic violence is often accepted as a legitimate way to exert power and control over women. Women who try to escape this violence are accused of "destroying the family." The patriarchal system not only victimizes the woman but also protects the attackers who claim to be trying to protect the unity of the family and justifies them.

4.Honor Killings and Violence in the Name of "Honor": It is one of the most ruthless aspects of cultures where patriarchal norms are strong. The killing of a woman, who is commodified with the concept of honor, is almost dictated by traditions. In a murder committed by hiding within the mold of honor, while the murderer-man is elevated to the position of victim, the victimized, defenseless woman is relegated to the position of criminal. Even in cases where a woman is subjected to a tremendous attack like rape, she cannot save herself from the malicious commands of traditional dogma. While the woman dies, the perpetrator-man is accepted as a hero who defends "morality" and "honor." Even if civil law subjects him to punishment, the murderer is not treated like a common criminal in the prison he enters. He is even given prestige in the category of a victim of fate who 'had to' kill his sister or mother, and when his sentence is over, he returns to his father's house, his mother's embrace, and continues his life where he left off.

5.Sexual Violence as a Weapon of War: Sexual assaults against women during war are a method systematically used to weaken communities, establish psychological pressure, and destabilize them. This type of violence is not limited to individual attacks; it is used as a wider strategy as a weapon against the community being fought. Women are targeted by enemy forces to damage the honor of men, shake trust within the community, and collapse the enemy community in terms of morale. Although women are the victims of the attack, they are declared dishonored and stained by their own communities and even their own families and are excluded from the community.

In 1937, during the Second Sino-Japanese War, when the Imperial Japanese Army captured Nanking, the capital of China, the Rape of Nanking (Nanking Massacre), which is accepted as one of the most ruthless war crimes in world history, took place. In this war, where hundreds of thousands of civilians were killed, 20,000 to 80,000 women were raped and then many of them were killed.

If it were not for a patriarchal culture where women are turned into honor commodities due to the Chinese state's culture, traditions, and religious tendencies, perhaps Japanese soldiers with the same mentality would not have carried out such a ruthless attack against women to stain the honor of Chinese men.

6.Misogyny in the "Manosphere": Online communities, which have become very widespread in the world in recent years and have started to be formed in our country, are a new area where women are subjected to another dimension of violence. In these online communities, the sexuality of men who become radicalized is suppressed through elements that shape social relations such as traditions and religion. These men, who have their own personal obstacles in front of establishing healthy social relations with the opposite sex, prefer to blame women instead of seeing themselves as the subject of their unfulfilled impulses. The satisfaction that these men, who suppress their true identities in online channels and act with another personality, cannot reach in real life manifests itself as violent anger in the virtual world. This wave of anger, which can rapidly radicalize with the algorithmic working principle, is very dangerous in terms of creating potential perpetrators.

7.Sexualized Violence in Public Spaces: Sexualized violence in public spaces is accepted as an ordinary and inevitable part of patriarchal systems. Its purpose is to break the self-confidence of women in public spaces and to make women afraid to leave the house. This form of attack includes verbal harassment, unwanted physical contact, and sexually explicit words. The purpose of this type of violence aims to constantly humiliate women and remind them that they can never be safe.

8.Judicial Failures: Another systemic form of aggressive misogyny is that women cannot find justice when they are victims of rape or domestic violence. In patriarchal systems, the questioning of victims' statements with suspicion, the failure to take evidence seriously, and the disregard for the victim's traumatic situation and lack of respect for their personal rights are not a coincidence or an individual mistake. The deficiency and carelessness of the patriarchal justice structure that affects this area blocks social solution paths by preventing the revelation of experienced events and dragging a social disaster to an unregistered ground.

Ultimately, while the patriarchy, which protects the man and declares the woman a second-class human being, continues its existence under the roof of the justice system and traditions, it directly encourages the criminal and openly punishes the victim because she is innocent, weak, and helpless.