Expert warning on relational stress: Difficult relationships can affect the biological aging process

Some relationships can have exhausting consequences not only emotionally but also physically. Acıbadem Life Clinical Psychologist Öykü Gönültaş stated that situations such as the constant need to explain oneself, feeling guilty when setting boundaries, mentally replaying the same conversation after certain meetings, and feeling exhausted can be indicators of “relational stress.”

According to Gönültaş, long-term relational stress can affect many areas, from sleep patterns to the immune system, and from attention performance to biological aging processes. “Our body reacts not only to physical threats but also to the insecurity and constant state of alarm we feel in relationships. For this reason, relationships in which we constantly feel defensive can create both a psychological and biological burden over time,” she said.

Clinical Psychologist Gönültaş emphasized that the brain also evaluates social relationships through a security system. While being accepted, understood, and supported sends a message of safety to the nervous system, the expectation of constant criticism, belittlement, rejection, or encountering unpredictable reactions can be perceived by the brain as a “social threat.”

In this case, the body can trigger a stress response as if it were facing a physical danger. Thoughts such as “I won't be able to explain myself again,” “I will be misunderstood again,” or “I will feel guilty if I set a boundary” occupying the mind before a meeting can combine with reactions such as increased heart rate, muscle tension, feeling on edge, and rehearsing the conversation repeatedly.

SIGNALS GIVEN BY THE BODY

When stress is short-term, the body develops a natural defense mechanism to adapt to changing conditions. However, when the source of stress persists, the body goes into a state of alarm repeatedly. Gönültaş stated that this situation is scientifically defined as “allostatic load,” noting that the body spends more resources to return to balance.

Stating that long-term stress is not limited to a state of “tension,” Gönültaş pointed out that the body's capacity for rest, repair, and recovery can also be strained. She conveyed that studies in recent years indicate that long-term negative social relationships may be associated with biological aging, inflammation, and general health burden.

Emphasizing that not every difficult relationship should be labeled as “toxic,” according to Gönültaş, the determining factor is not a single argument, but rather relationship patterns that constantly trap the person in the same emotional cycle and remain unresolved. Feeling constantly compelled to explain oneself, feeling intense guilt when setting boundaries, or seeing the regulation of the other party's emotions as one's own responsibility can increase the stress load.

Gönültaş stated that the questions “How do I feel after meeting with this person? Am I more tense, more tired, or more inadequate? Am I experiencing the same cycle over and over again?” can be guiding in recognizing relational stress. Stating that setting boundaries does not always mean ending the relationship, Gönültaş expressed that shortening the duration of the conversation, avoiding certain topics, not saying “yes” to every request immediately, or taking a break from the conversation when an argument escalates can also be healthy boundaries.

Stating that healthy relationships are protective for physical health as well as mental health, Gönültaş said that relationships in which a person feels safe, understood, and supported can reduce the effects of stress and strengthen psychological resilience.

News Source: 12punto